A Case for Professor Grzimek
by Conny1908
Summary: Harry has acquired a pet. Draco is not amused. – No smut, just silliness.


**A/N: **I grew up with Professor Grzimek's TV show "A Place for Animals". He is one of the people who deeply impressed me when I was little, and for some reason, his name popped up in my head when I was trying to come up with a title for this little ficlet. For information about this remarkable man, copy the following link into the address field of your browser and remove the blanks: http// www.zgf.de / wirueberuns / bernhardgrzimekeng.html

**Disclaimer: **I have no intention of infringing upon any copyrights in connection with the Harry Potter Franchise. Should you recognize any of JKR's characters in my writing, please be kind. I am just playing with them for my own – and hopefully others' – entertainment.

**Warning: **No smut. Silliness. Implied mpreg.

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A Case for Professor Grzimek**

"What in Merlin's name is _that, _Potter?"

"Erm, it's some sort of animal?"

"I can see that myself, thank you very much. What I want to know is what kind of animal it is, you twit."

"I haven't the foggiest. Why don't you look it up in _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?_"

"I'm not looking up anything until you tell me what this- this _vermin _is doing in my livingroom!"

"It's not vermin, it's a pet."

"Don't touch it! What if it has fleas? Or diseases?!"

"Good lord, Draco, must you be so melodramatic?"

"What are you doing? Don't take it out of the cage! It could bite!"

"Don't be absurd, Draco. – There, there, sweetie, don't let the big bad uncle scare you. – See? It's really friendly."

"What if it bites Marian?"

"Oh, go get her!

"You're not going to expose my daughter to that- creature." 

"Maybe she knows what it is."

"Are you insane? Can't you see the claws?"

"Stop being such a drama queen! It's not a hippogriff, for heaven's sake!"

"Yeah, well, it's not a kneazle either. Or a crup."

"Dad? – Papa?"

"Hello, sweetheart. You're a smart girl. Do you know what kind of animal this is?"

"Oooohhh, it's so cute! Can I pet it?"

"Don't touch it!" – "Not yet, sweetheart. Let it get used to us first."

"Where did it come from, dad?"

"Yes, where did it come from, Potter?"

"That's confidential. But somebody has to take care of it until the investigation is over."

"Let me guess: You volunteered."

"Actually…"

"Is it a sloth, dad?"

"I don't think so. Sloths have a round head with a short snout. And they are bigger and have shaggy fur."

"Colour me surprised! I didn't know you were a zoologist, Draco."

"Not a zoologist, just good at potions."

"I don't think I want to know more."

"Look, papa, it has a striped tail! – Maybe it's a raccoon, dad."

"I don't know what Sl- erm, the place where we found it would do with a racc- _Whoa!" _

"Ooooohhh, it likes me!"

"Get it away from her this instant, Potter!"

"It's purring, papa! – Dad, can we keep it, please?"

"Yes, but only for a few days."

"Potter!" 

"Why don't you go and look it up in the book aunt Star gave you for Christmas, sweetheart? The one by that professor Jimmek or whatever his name is. – There's a good girl. Don't forget its cage. It has food and an old coat in there."

_"POTTER!"_

"Thank you, dad! – Thank you, papa!"

"I want you in the kitchen, Potter. _Now!"_

"Good night, sweetheart." – "Good night, darling."

"Good night, dad. Good night, papa. – Come here, my little cutie."

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Last but not least: **So, have you figured out what animal Harry has brought home? A sequel to the first person to know or guess correctly! ;D 

**_Hint #1:_** This particular member of the order _carnivora_ doesn't make a good pet unless you spend a lot of time with it. The females of the species are very sociable, while the males become solitary once they reach two years of age.

**_Hint #2:_** Adults of this species are about the size of a large housecat. Males can become almost twice as big as females and have long, sharp canine teeth.

_**Hint #3:**_ Thank you for playing, Jenny and Rosy! It is **not a lemur.** Although it belongs to the order _carnivora,_ our animal is actually an omnivore, meaning it eats pretty much everything, even carrion (I know - ew!). It has a formidable sense of smell and uses its snout and skilled, bear-like paws to unearth insects and roots. Its intelligence and lack of feeding preferences make it adaptable to a wide range of habitats. Our animal is widespread in South America, where it inhabits hot, arid areas as well as humid rainforests and even cold mountain slopes.

**_Hint #4:_** Thank you for playing, Malfoy's Mask! So sorry, but it's **not a skunk** - although our animal is an omnivore, like the skunk, and eats pretty much everything, from leaves to carrion (I know - ew!). It has a formidable sense of smell and uses its snout and skilled, bear-like paws to unearth insects and roots. Its intelligence and dietary indifferences make it adaptable to a wide range of habitats. The critter we are looking for is **native to South America**, where it inhabits hot, arid areas as well as humid rainforests and even cold mountain ranges. It has brownish or reddish fur and a non-prehensile tail.

**_And we have a winner!_** Rosy (LadyRoseAnnMalfoy) guessed correctly that our mystery animal is a **coati **or** coatimundi** _(Nasua nasua)_. More information can be found here: http:// en. / wiki / Coatimundi (remove blanks and copy into the address field of your browser).

_Now one wonders what the coati was doing in the place where it was discovered. Come to think of it: Where exactly did Harry find the little critter? Who is its owner? What was he (or is it a she?) planning on doing with it? Is there more to the coati than meets the eye? - Oh dearie, sounds like this needs to be continued, doesn't it?_


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